{"id":3034,"date":"2014-02-09T21:29:04","date_gmt":"2014-02-09T21:29:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/billythekidonline.com\/site\/?p=3034"},"modified":"2014-02-09T21:29:04","modified_gmt":"2014-02-09T21:29:04","slug":"the-most-awesome-salad-ever","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/billypettinger.com\/billythekid\/2014\/02\/09\/the-most-awesome-salad-ever\/","title":{"rendered":"The Most Awesome Salad Ever"},"content":{"rendered":"

I invented the most awesome salad ever and I wanted to share it with you.<\/p>\n

Careful, there are some f-bombs in here and that’s just cause I’m god damn passionate about cooking. Oh and also I’m the best at it. And I’m humble as shit.<\/p>\n

\"Stop<\/a><\/p>\n

First you get some lettuces, whatever kind you think are the best.<\/p>\n

Then you put some steamed broccoli on there.
\nYou can also put some carrots in when the broccolis are a-steamin, it’s your salad man do whatever the fuck you want.
\nYou can also put some peppers in there I guess too. I mean, if you want to ruin everything.<\/p>\n

Then you add some chick peas. make sure you drain and wash them and don’t just dump a whole can in. DO NOT use the dry kind that you have to soak overnight cause seriously WHO HAS THAT KIND OF TIME.<\/p>\n

Cut up some little squares of veggie ham. I know, it sounds weird, but you’ll thank me when you’re older. I guess you can use real ham. I mean, if you’re a murderer.<\/p>\n

Then you top with tiny cubes of cheese (vegan if you want) and ground hemp seed. Make sure it’s the kind that looks like sawdust and not the seed-y looking kind. It’s going to look fuckin disgusting but trust me on this. It’s fucking good for you and I’m trying to keep you from dying so quickly.<\/p>\n

Gawd.<\/p>\n

Top with balsamic vinaigrette. Eat often. Drink with 1-14 tiny coffees. Rinse. Repeat.<\/p>\n

You’re welcome.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Fuckin delicious<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I invented the most awesome salad ever and I wanted to share it with you. Careful, there are some f-bombs in here and that’s just cause I’m god damn passionate…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,38],"tags":[71,77,96,115,131,193],"class_list":["post-3034","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","category-news","tag-best-goddamn","tag-billy-the-fuckin-wicked-ass-chef","tag-cooking-class","tag-f-bomb","tag-humble-as-shit","tag-salad"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/billypettinger.com\/billythekid\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3034","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/billypettinger.com\/billythekid\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/billypettinger.com\/billythekid\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/billypettinger.com\/billythekid\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/billypettinger.com\/billythekid\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3034"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/billypettinger.com\/billythekid\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3034\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/billypettinger.com\/billythekid\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3034"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/billypettinger.com\/billythekid\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3034"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/billypettinger.com\/billythekid\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3034"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}